But the most important first, was the first trip to NYC. Granted, it was a work trip, but I was able to get a lot of sightseeing done. I’ve never been a tourist alone before, so this was a whole new experience. I mean, who can resist Rockefeller Center?
In the midst of these new exciting moments, there always seems to be a bit of my past that rears its ugly head. I refer to it as the “Pager Theory” when talking about past guy interests, but this theory goes a bit deeper. When life seems to go so incredibly well, the bottom appears to fall out. And, I say “appears” because it really never does- it’s just a good opportunity to trust God a bit more than before and move forward.
Right now, I’m in that intersection of trying to process a situation that I’ve been numb to for a very long time. Over the past 10 years, I feel that I’ve really been put through the wringer with this relationship. 10 years of hope, heartache, and a very deep hurt that has been forgiven. However, I’m seeing that the hurt remained and emerged in a new form. And because I’ve forced myself to move on and divorce myself from the situation, I’m finding that I’m completely lost on how to process these new developments. I haven’t had to deal with this in the last 5 years. I just ask for your patience and prayers as I try to sort all of this out.